Changed Lives: Malcolm's Story

How I was saved from a life of alcohol hell... 

I'd always known that my dirinking was different to my friends. We'd all drink, but I was the one that would often keep drinking after the others had stopped.

After my first son was born, my drinking accelerated. My wife gave up work and so I became the sole breadwinner. At the same time an ankle injury meant I had to give up playing football and my boss left our company, all of which left me feeling exposed and under pressure.

Over the next 10 years my drinking became chaotic, as did my life. I lost several jobs through poor performance and each time I knew that it was because of my drinking. During this time we continued to attend our church, Sundays being the day we presented ourselves as a 'normal' family.

In the end my wife couldn't take it any more and we agreed that I should move away for a while.

When I look back I realise that I had always been running away. I would rather be out drinking with strangers than at home being the responsible husband and father. There were times of deep despair when I'd fall on my knees and cry out to God, but the next day I'd carry on as before.

CRISIS

Eventually I moved back home and had to do my drinking in secret. I drank in my lunch breaks and on my way home from work, and eventually even on my way to work.

I had another crisis at work, but this time felt it was not my fault. I knew that I had to stop drinking in order to be able to defend myself. I had no idea that I would never drink alcohol again. August 27th 1994 was arguably the greatest day of my life. It was the day I finally gave up alcohol.

As days turned into weeks and weeks into months, I realised that everything in my life was improving, however there was still something missing, something fundemental which had caused me to drink in the first place and would do so again if I didn't sort it out.

It was then that the church we were going to announced that they were going to run an Alpha course. My wife and I started going along and the course soon became the focal point of our week. We went to the weekend away as part of the course and that's when God spoke to me through the Holy Spirit. I suddenly felt all my feelings of guilt and shame just lift off of me. It was wonderful. This was the time I accepted Jesus as my personal Saviour; I became a true Christian. 

"I suddenly felt all
my feelings of
guilt and shame
just lift off of me.
It was wonderful"